Their mission to save their son had been so all-consuming they realized only after it ended that they were just one part of a disaster unfolding all around them. Mollie’s car is covered in dents and scratches, from when he’d be in withdrawal, fly into a rage and beat it, and she doesn’t want to get it fixed. But her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer for a second time, and Landon's addiction caused ceaseless chaos. Her child — defined only by the madness of addiction. He can’t watch the news, because it reminds him that the world is marching on in the face of calamity. Quotes displayed in real-time or delayed by at least 15 minutes. She did not see what her husband and daughter had seen. my beautiful angel… It's been months since they knelt over his 20-year-old son on the bedroom floor. She scrolls by a photo taken the night before he died, two days before Thanksgiving. “But so many people still view addiction as a moral issue: You’re not strong, or you don’t have self-control.”. He can't watch the news, because it reminds him that the world is marching on in the face of calamity. After Landon died, she started losing things. He realized when he awoke that his great fear is that Landon is nowhere, just gone, doomed by his addiction to leave no legacy. In the stack of catalogues and bills was an ordinary brown envelope, “County Coroner” stamped as the return address. She lost a key to Doug’s car, she lost her glasses, she lost the lists she’d made of all the things she did for her son to remind herself she didn’t turn her back on him. The last time she saw her son, he was lying in the coroner's office and she tousled his hair. He called Denise Cullen, who runs an organization called GRASP, for parents of the dead from addiction. Mollie checked the mail one afternoon about six months after her son died. Her son had been taken apart and reduced to ashes, like he never existed at all. She had moved in with her parents to save money for her own apartment and planned to stay a couple months. His release is contingent on cooperation with the DEA, on the authorization and supervision of his twin brother, a career DEA agent. For the first time she saw it as her husband and daughter had seen it — not peaceful, but brutal. Co-workers would talk about their children going to college, getting married. They thought he'd grow up to be a set designer for the movies. She holds her breath when she walks through her house, each step threatening to crack her resolve not to think about that day. “How broken was this family that this could happen?”. He sat it on his desk as he worked in his home office and put it in the passenger seat as he tooled around town running errands. He had a son with a disease, and yet they couldn’t just take him to a doctor. “I knew how much pain he was in. Quotes displayed in real-time or delayed by at least 15 minutes. It's usually not until the second year that parents realize how bad the grief can get, she says.

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