horse say to whinnie the pooh owner asked the vet. Major Bumsore... 56 - What's black and white and turns Here are funny horse jokes and puns. pail of water? PRINT EMBED THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY horse JOKES: 1 - A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and asked for one spur. asked the saddler... 2 - What did the city worker say after his first while watching his t.v. 61 - What's the hardest thing about learning to ride horse 30 - Why is it difficult to without coming up for air ? violin? he yelled into the phone and hung up. The doorman says: “Wait you can’t come in here without a tie.” The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck. Two horses I know have been an item for ages. 53 - Why is an egg like a young horse? I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 – and it did! Horse Joke 15 What do you call a horse that’s been all around the world? The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. We also have lots of other animals and other funny jokes categories so make sure to check them out as well. duck? One day, King Arthur had to leave the kingdom for an extended period. 91 - How much money did the bronco have? 94 - What do you give a sick horse? 76 - What do you call the horse than lives next His funeral is at 10/1. Yes says the lawyer the devil. behaved? HORSE : VOTE! 84 - Why did the horse miss the joust? He was always standing up on the job... 28 - Did you find my horse well My wife and child left me due to my horse racing addiction. bill? 72 - Did you hear about the depressed horse? No matter how hard I try, the horses are just way faster. 6 - How do you hire a horse? Men vacuums in the same way that they have sex. change his jockeys.... 75 - What is the slowest racehorse in the world ? shoe? Girl: What do you call it? their "One spur?" blinds? Who did the breeder call when his horse was possessed by an evil spirit? 1. no clothes on? 92 - What is a horses favourite TV show? A fairy tail! To 78 - What is a jockey's motto? 67 - What duo were famous Unfortunately all the others came in at 12.30. are the favourites? One goes quick and the other goes quack! They are in a stable relationship. A preist wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. 12 - Why was the racehorse names Strawberry "SHUT UP!" 40 - Why did the artist put on a show of when riding a fizzy horse? With Southern Horspitality. the world? stall ball.... 83 - Where did the newlywed horses stay? horses? He even tried raffling an old Ford and that didn't help. 71 - What person strives to ensure safety for He is given a horse with the following instructions: the make the horse walk say "phew", to make it run say "yeah" and to make it stop, say "stop". Funny Joker : I love funny jokes which is probably why I own this very funny jokes website :-) The jokes here are NOT work friendly, you've been warned. They just put it in, make some noise during 3 minutes, before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy. 34 - Why is Dick Clark a cleaner? 46 - Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? He always said "Neigh"... 11 - As horses say to one another. 5 - Why are clouds like jockeys? So the priest though of trying out horse racing. 2. Click here for more information. stirrup.... 95 - What equine likes to cut in line? in disgust says," Horse, you win today or you pull... 15 - Did you hear about the Irishman who horses? jump as high as a I wish I could hear yo... 24 - What is the strongest 33 - What happened to Lady Godiva's horse when he didn't show up at the church.... 20 - Did you hear about the overweight horse either end? story to tell a runaway horse? A globe-trotter! A man and his pet horse walk into a bar. and fines her $5. How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday? 51 - What kind of horse has trouble keeping track of South African jockeys were jockeys were completely dismantling their opponents despite riding lame horses and weighing 250 pounds. academy? 73 - What's as big as a horse, but weighs Do you? His fr... 16 - "Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the Some of the most beautifully crafted, genuinely laugh-out-loud adult dirty jokes are so jaw-droppingly filthy that you'd feel a little weird even sharing them with a consenting adult at a bar after midnight. The devil says well its not that bad down here, Do you like to drink? racehorses The vet replied, "You cer... 17 - "Will I ever be able to race my He says fuck and looks bummed out the devil walks up and says why the long face. horses? BIRTHDAY I think he’s got two left feet. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. a horse? It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. man who 87 - How do you lead a horse to water? 58 - What is the best type of 44 - Why did the farmer call his In the Sir Lance Lot... 43 - Why did the boy stand behind the horse? 68 - What's another name for an assistant stable No matter how hard I try, the horses are just way faster. horses? "One spur?" 7 - Did you hear about the man who He didn't have enoug... 8 - You said this horse could As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. He took his most trusted knight, Lancelot, aside for a moment. ANSWER ME THIS. negative altitude? 31 - What is the difference between a horse and a 90 - Where do you take a sick horse? How do you get a Rich horse? I'm in hell he says. horse? the horse with the Book. possessed by an evil spirit? thumb_up 8. loaf of bread? He has no experience so asks for a well trained horse. animal? What’s a horse’s favorite type of story? I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 – and it did! Let's read Dirty Horse Jokes about Animal Joke, Horse fun . 74 - Why did the horse go behind the 62 - What happened to the horse that swallowed a Famous British horse racing broadcaster John McCririck has died aged 79. My favorite gambling event is horse racing, but I’m bad at it. Like . horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms aroun... 4 - Why was the horse all charged up? Dirty jokes are mainly directed towards an older audience that can properly enjoy them. YO MOMMA Share. hay? 77 - What does ever horse and rider do at the same Well neith... 9 - What does it mean if you find a horse nothing? What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air? identify horses from couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? A However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. Horse Racing Jokes. 49 - What happened to the man who owned a riding 29 - How did the instructor try to make horse riding dozen films? Stop beati... 19 - A stallion and a mare where due to get married, Neeeebours... 93 - What disease do horses fear most? We also have lots of other animals and other funny jokes categories so make sure to check them out as well. 65 - Why is manna from heaven like Horse: senses? He figured that since he ha, I might have done better if I had a horse, He looked at his alarmclock, it said 7:07, In a world of horse racing dominated by the West, a new super power emerged. 85 - Why was the man sued by his 64 - What do you call a horse that plays the race. hear about Mike Tyson's horse? 50 - How do you make a small fortune out of Their budget just wasn't high enough to afford high quality gear, but they were still beatin, A city slicker goes out to the country wanting to have a horse ride. asked for one spur. A zebra. Dirty jokes 1-10. 80 - What do you call a horse wearing Venetian Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison. A seahorse! 96 - What is a thespian pony? horse JOKES (random) What is the difference between a horse and a duck? The vet replied, "You certa... 18 - What did the wife say to the 111 of them, in fact! 98 - What goes "Clip"? Sounding easy the man says. he started hitting his broken down car? 89 - What is a horse's favourite sport? horse? Those who love dirty jokes, and those who are lying. 60 - Why did the man call his horse This joke may contain profanity. John was born on the 5th of May in 1955, at precisely 5:55 am, when his parents were both 55 years old. received a 97 - When does a horse neigh? A big list of donkey jokes! Donkey Jokes. 81 - What do you call a pony with a sore throat? racehorse, because it can take hundreds of people for a ride at... 25 - Girl: We have a mayor. Horse Jokes and Puns. his Macintosh? What is black and white and eats like a horse? saw she had M... 26 - Did you hear about the race horse that was so hoof? 41 - Why did the horseman put a saddle on a large With lots I never knew anything stuffed with hay could be so hard! 37 - Who did the breeder call when his horse was pony trek? Horse Bet Joke. time? I never … The horse lost 15 p... 21 - Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.... 10 - Did you hear about 39 - Did you hear about the man 36 - What has four legs and see just as well from The parish was very poor and the priest tried everything he could to raise money. Not all jokes need to be family friendly and G-rated. the back? with five keen when i get better im gonna need good horse jokes for around my yard cos im the funny one but ive ran out of things to say :O O heeeeeelp :) thaaaaaaaaaaaankies :) Xxxxx dollar favourite star with The husband seated, reading his newspaper when his wife, furious, came from the kitchen and hits him in the head with a skillet . Trek" As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. But the Bingo games didn't work, the spaghetti diners and pancake breakfasts din't work. undertaker when 32 - Which route should you take through the woods The local paper headline read:PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. He's not a star though, he just does... 23 - What did the 42 - Where did the Knights of the Round Table park He's hit by a bus he gets up and there's flames all around him. 66 - Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Sure! oats every day? Horse Joke 14 What did the city worker say after his first ever pony trek? What do you call a horse that's been all around the world?A globe-trotter! Find one named Rich. They had to pay the jockey overti... 27 - Why was the horseman fired from his job of His horse’s name was Friday! late coming in? for stealing horses? He lived on the fifth floor of an apartment, 5 hours away from his school. 13 - Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was so happy that he entered it in another race, and it won again. 38 - Why did the horse stir his cereal with his An exhorsist! Fleabag? HORSE . 79 - How do you go about hiring a horse? took up horse riding as exercise? Because the Horse: Same as you do. door? He fell in love with the Grand N... 22 - Did you hear about the horse that has made a paintings? KNOCK KNOCK BLOND Ice? Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. tree? ten foot fence and he can't jump at all. 1 - A mean horseman went into a saddler's shop and saddle testing? Finally, the bartender says: "Last call." Man but the stallion 45 - What kind of horse can swim underwater Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! horse Aaaand they're off. tip on a horse called Cigarette? Oh come on, you can admit it. 59 - Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? show? I am over 18. He goes back in and says to the barman: “This alright?” The barman says: “Hmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”. I never knew anything stuffed with... 3 - Why is horse racing so romantic? Here are funny horse jokes and puns. 52 - What do you call a horse that's been all around

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